Toys for fascist children!

In case you are currently training your little one in, say, management of a police state, or the imposition of martial law, here is a nice little toy set that will help you in said endeavor. Playmobil, my beloved childhood toy of choice, now manufactures a security checkpoint set.

http://www.amazon.com/Playmobil-3172-Security-Check-Point/dp/B0002CYTL2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Check out the customer tags and reviews; they are a laugh riot. I wonder how many other products on Amazon.com can claim tags under "police state," "tyranny," "fascism," "fear," "martial law," and "1984." Some sample gems from the customer reviews include:

"...Worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family's suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the advanced TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise mutilate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks."

"My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital."

"Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor."

So basically, amazing.

Way to go!

The Palestinian death toll has passed 500. Israel claims the casualties have been primarily militants, placing the civilian casualty count at below 100. Is there anyone out there who believes this? Considering the tolls come from the mouths of Israeli officials and reporters are currently barred from entering Gaza, I certainly don't. The fact that Gaza's hospitals have already been overwhelmed doesn't inspire confidence in those claims, either. Not to mention, Israeli rocket fire landing in the middle of a marketplace in Gaza City, where civilians were stocking up on necessities for the coming raids, doesn't inspire confidence in the Israeli promise to avoid soft targets. Nor, for that matter, did their striking a U.N. school in Gaza, which had been opened to house those seeking refuge. Way to go, Israel!

Not that I have much confidence in the United States right now, either. The United Nations Security Council attempted to issue a formal statement calling for an immediate cease-fire, only to be blocked by - guess who? That's right, the United States! Way to go, U.S.A.! It would seem that, according to our strict humanitarian standards, the fact that we can't verify whether or not Hamas will abide by a cease-fire is cause enough to continue brutalizing Gaza.

And, per usual, President-elect Obama is still deferring publicly to the Bush administration, so as not to leak his pro-Israel sentiments while he still has the avid support of the would-be Left. Way to go, Obama!

This is the arm of a little girl who was killed in the strike at the U.N. school. I wonder what Obama would have to say if this were one of his little girls.

SO VERY, VERY ANGRY

It's been awhile since anything felt worth posting about. But now, as you can probably imagine, the current situation in Gaza has me riled up and swearing a whole lot when I try to talk about it. Granted, talking about Israel always has me riled up and swearing a whole lot, because it's one of the only political situations in my lifetime that I haven't been able to - at least briefly and temporarily, for the purpose of debate - separate myself from emotionally. But right now, watching the conflict escalate into a legitimate ground war, I'm even more pissed off than usual.

Flying into JFK earlier this week, watching CNN and MSNBC coverage of the Israeli airstrikes in Gaza, I felt so impotent knowing that protests were underway around the world against the Israeli government, and there I was, stuck on a plane. Later, in the airport, when the cable news stations televised aforementioned protests, I fought the urge to start a riot in the JetBlue terminal. Alas, with no cease-fire in sight and a sense of decorum preventing me from rioting, I will blog.
Israeli troops and tanks have now crossed the Gaza border, with the intent of destroyng Hamas and claiming their rocket launching sites. This, of course, means that the current casualty estimate of 4 Israelis and 430 Palestinians is likely to skyrocket in short order. Not that the Israeli government is likely to care much, as they've always had a nasty little habit of killing Palestinian civilians in order to make a point regarding terrorism. Just last year, in March, they conducted a 48-hour raid that killed around 100 Palestinans. Did they accomplish anything? No. Why they expect this to work, rather than increase the likelihood that civilians will turn to groups like Hamas, is completely beyond me. Anyone whose studied a decent amount of World History could probably tell you that this will never be an effective tactic. And yet, they continue to use it, year after year, much as they are using it now.

The New York Times quoted Israel's defense minister, Ehud Barak, as saying, “This will not be short. This will not be easy. I do not wish to delude anyone.” The paper then went on to say that Barak mentioned "that the coming days will be difficult for the residents of Southern Israel." Right. Because, as troops march across the Gaza border, I'm currently worried about how the Israeli settlers are going to handle the situation. It's just a thought but, if Israelis didn't want to deal with the rage of a displaced people, then maybe they shouldn't have, you know... displaced the people? Just saying.

And so long as I'm touching on quotes that make me want to vomit with rage, I'll turn your attention to one of Obama's statements from earlier this summer on the campaign trail: "If somebody was sending rockets into my house where my two daughters sleep at night, I'm going to do everything in my power to stop that. And I would expect Israelis to do the same thing.” Okay. That's a useful tactic, putting yourself in the shoes of another. I can't argue against that. But did Obama take a moment to consider what he might be driven to do, should his daughters be living without enough food, without clean water, without proper schools, without adequate healthcare, without a house in which to sleep at night? In other words, what he would do if his daughters lived in Gaza? Of course I'm purely speculating, but I think he might be voting for Hamas a whole lot sooner than he'd like to think.

Now, lest anyone should think I actively support the actions of the Hamas goverment (and I would like to stress here that it is a government, and not merely a terrorist group, seeing as how it was elected), I do not. But I do understand them, by which I mean that I can see how it feels to them like their only option. If you deprive a people of their basic rights, the response is frequently violent. (The French Revolution comes to mind...). When a people is particularly downtrodden, they will often follow leaders with questionable tactics. (World War II comes to mind...). It's a tragic irony that Israel should have such very narrow-minded historical hindsight.

But I don't want to preach about how to run a country or manage a conflict or what have you, because obviously my 4 years of university-level political science left me far short of the expert mark. And I don't need to preach because I think it's pretty clear how I feel about Israel. So I maintain my right to get riled up and swear a lot whenever it comes up, and I'll leave it at that for now. But if nothing else, you should be looking at these pictures. I think they're pretty important.
**A disclaimer: this is an admittedly simplistic overview my opinion of the situation. And while I always welcome debate on my blog, if you're inclined to call me an anti-Semite because I don't support Israel, just go away, because my point is obviously lost on you.**

Fires are sad

There was just a big fire in an apartment building across the street from me. Watching people being evacuated has me hung up on the question of what I would save if I were escaping a fire. I saw people climbing down the ladders with all sorts of things... laptop cases, pets, blankets... considering how bad the smoke was, it's a wonder people had time to grab anything at all. And not everyone was that lucky - one of the older tenants couldn't make it out on her own and tragically passed away before the rescue team could find her. People like to talk about grabbing photo albums, etc., but really? When there's smoke and you can hardly breathe, are you thinking about your baby photos or are you thinking about getting the hell out of there before you die? If I still had my cat, I think she'd be the only thing I would even have the impulse to save. Maybe I'd have time to throw my purse over my shoulder. A lot of people today didn't even have the time to grab a coat, and it's barely over 40 degrees. I think in a genuine life or death situation you have to sacrifice the romanticized concept of rapidly evaluating what material things are most important to you. You just run. That said, it was pretty tragic walking by after the fire had been put out and seeing the piles of wet, charred belongings lying in the street and on the sidewalk. There was a Hello Kitty backpack in the mess and seeing that made me tear up. I had to remind myself that whatever kid that belonged to had made it out alive, and that is really the most important thing.

Feminist Rant

I just finished watching Funny Face for the millionth time, and it is finally starting to bother me. It's a seriously tragic movie - talk about setting back the women's movement! Moral of the story is: so long as a girl sacrifices any intellectual pursuit and willingly follows a persuasive and powerful man, she'll be able to find happiness. Duhhhh. Oh, and all intellectuals are suspect and/or borderline retarded, so don't listen to anything they might have to say. I honestly wonder how it's possible that Audrey Hepburn was willing to take a role in which she fulfilled her destiny by giving up her lifelong fascination with philosophy to pose in front of a man's camera in fancy clothes. When she cries during the wedding dress photo shoot because, as she says, "it's not really the happiest day of my life," you know she's gone round the bend. The happiest day of your life was supposed to be the day you discussed "empathicalism" with a world-famous philosophy professor, ya dumb ho, not your wedding day! But of course, that world famous philosophy professor turns out to be a lecherous creep, so scratch that. You didn't need those books anyway! Bah!


And barring all of that, it's a lovely film and I watch it all the time. The end.

I can haz lolspeak?

I was unaware until tonight that lolspeak is now an official language. Or at least, official enough for Flickr. So, every time you log into Flickr, they teach you how to say hello in a different language. For example, "Hola, ----! Now you know how to greet people in Spanish!" But tonight I logged in and saw:

O HAI Jaymar!!

Now you know how to greet people in Lolspeak!

Wow. Just wow.

It's Christmastime (and bedtime!)

I am a little drunk. We just sang 'O Come All Ye Faithful' (as Adestes Fidelis in the original Latin, courtesy of one Peter Noble) and 'O Holy Night' back-to-back at karaoke. It's almost like I've found Christ. Ashley and I fell down on the stairs and my knee is bleeding through my tights. Also, my elbow hurts a lot. It would be pretty cool if Brian would hurry up and get back to San Francisco. How did I end up in a cab? I love you all (probably).