Preserve the Sanctity of San Francisco Bars

I know that Prop 8 has been the latest political buzz (short of the Presidential election, that is), and even after its passage (excuse me while I quietly vomit) there is still a lot of energy being funneled into the fight to have it repealed. Not to mention a lot of continued ranting from its supporters about the bible, and love between a man and a woman, and the sanctity of marriage. But I'm tired of this bullshit. Right now, as a young person trying to socialize in a big city, I am more deeply and immediately concerned with the sanctity of our bar scene. What is happening to our beloved bars? Why the overwhelming and seemingly unstoppable tide of douche bags? It's disgusting, it's unnatural, and it paves the way for the allowance of all sorts of unsavory entities in our bars. If we start with douche bags, what's next? Giraffes? Robots? People over 50? Please. We don't want these characters tainting our pure and beautiful bars. We can't have our children growing up thinking it's acceptable to enter any San Francisco bar wearing a pink striped shirt, baggy jeans, and dress shoes, with gel in their hair and five bros in their wake. Do you want YOUR children thinking it's okay to yell mindlessly every time a Journey song comes on the juke box? No. You don't. Which is why we need to get Prop D (D for douche bag, obviously) on the ballot. If you're interested in safeguarding San Francisco's sacred bar scene and protecting really cool hipsters from unnecessary disturbance in their natural habitat, sign up now to canvas and gather signatures for Prop D today. Your children with thank you.